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fantasy world. [May. 5th, 2009|10:34 pm]
i'm lost at sea.. don't bother me..

i've lost my way...

this is for you.

both of you.
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"i'm the storm coming..." [Apr. 22nd, 2009|01:42 am]
i was talking to abby the other day about picking favorites musically. i was like, "i can't pick favorite artists, favorite albums, much less favorite songs... there are too many." to me it's generally on one of three levels; 1) EARTH SHATTERING(every time), 2) respectable or even really good or something i like, but not included in group 1, and 3) rubbish...

well, today i had a run in with a song that reminded me it is absolutely easily in my top 10 songs -ever-. it simply has to be. the album it's on would probably make my album list too. it's too good, too thought-provoking, too groundbreaking, and has too much _ME_ in it to be ignored.

so there it is.

storm coming
gnarls barkley

i could paint a picture with a pen
but a song will only scratch the skin
and there are still places i haven't been
because i know what's in there is already in the air

oh yeah, there's a storm on the way
there's a storm on the way...

and it's coming no matter what i say.

hey hey hey...
there's truth in the thunder, love in the lightening
the feeling is frightening, but isn't it exciting?
i'm something like stormy weather
if i weren't then we'd never huddle together
but do i have to tell you that i'm also the sunlight
that shines shortly after? i just rain cuz i have to..
onto other chapters, i wish you lots of laughter
til the next time you see me, just remember you need me

i'm the storm coming...

here i come

run toward the hills to avoid the high flood
i can do a dance that would make the sky cry blood
skills provoking, seals to be broken open
all that's left to do is TRY my love...

and i'm singing the cyclone, i'm writing a raging sea..
searching for a sign of the times...
is it sane to say it's me?

listen to our lives, the wind will whisper the way it is
I'M GOING TO HAPPEN; what a lovely day it is...

don't ask why,
just live and die.
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i'm not posting this for the reasons you think i am. [Apr. 16th, 2009|05:34 pm]
this happened today on my ipod.

dead leaves and the dirty ground when i know you're not around
shiny tops and soda pops when i hear your lips make a sound
30 notes in the mailbox will tell you that i'm coming home
and i think i'm gonna stick around for a while so you're not alone

if you can hear a piano fall you can hear me coming down the hall
if i could just hear your pretty voice, i don't think i need to see at all
soft hair and a velvet tongue, i wanna give you what you give to me
and every breath that is in your lungs is a tiny little gift to me

i didn't feel so bad til the sun went down
then i come home, no one to wrap my arms around..

well any man with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most
and you'll know why you love at all if you're thinking of the holy ghost

got that tattoo on your back, and another down your arm
and a few you keep hidden like you're saving them for someone
you got those pretty blue eyes, and a crooked sort of smile
oh ruby, don't go, won't you stay a little while?

and you say you don't sleep, you don't think you ever will
between your little white lines and your catholic guilt
so sometimes you call me over just to put you to bed
oh ruby, don't go, was it something that i said?

and i've been thinking all night back to those better days
were you the one i never had or the one that got away?
and there in the dark i can almost see your face..
and i say, "ruby, don't go.." but you just fade away

so you found yourself a man, and he's everything you need
he's safe and he's sane and he ain't nothing like me
and he's making that vow to have you and to hold you
oh ruby, don't go.. he can't love you like i do.

in the next world war, in a jack-knifed juggernaut
i am born again.

in the neon sign, scrolling up and down
i am born again.

in an interstellar burst,
i'm back to save the universe.

in the deep deep sleep of the innocent
i am born again.

in a fast german car, i'm amazed that i survived
an airbag saved my life.

in an interstellar burst,
i'm back to save the universe.

you fill in the blanks. good luck.


[white stripes, andrew delaney, radiohead]
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hmm [Feb. 12th, 2009|02:09 am]
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood |excited]
[Current Music |kindergarten, from angel dust by faith no more]

heard this on shuffle and was about it.

i used to listen to this album every day.

anyway, off to vegas in a matter of hours. dig it, fool.


return to my own vomit, like a dog
rhymes and giggles muffle the dialogue
carve my initials in a tree, i will never leave
maybe one day i'll be royalty

kingdom, kindergarten
born late, will i graduate?

drinking fountains are shorter than they used to be
the swings on the playground don't even fit me anymore
folklore, nobody's supposed to believe in the next grade
write it a hundred times

kingdom, kindergarten
waiting, bell's not ringing...

held back again...

everything got quiet suddenly
no dolby, and the theater is empty
film is flapping on the side of the projector
the reel is over
banished with my sticky shoes and stinging eyes
i'm walking outside

kingdom, kindergarten
born late, will i graduate?

write it a hundred times

held back again...

~faith no more
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random... it's late at night... [Feb. 9th, 2009|03:19 am]
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood |contemplative]
[Current Music |radiohead]

it's nice when you see porn with a really hot girl, but think, "i'd rather fuck the girl i'm sleeping with..." this is not an epic porn fail so much as an epic girl win.

or something like that. some girls got it where it counts, is all i'm really trying to say.

but anyway, what else? it's snowing big time outside, i just noticed through the newly covered windows... i wonder if people will be able to get to work in the morning.

i've had a really active year so far, and a particularly interesting past couple weeks. it shows no signs of letting up, as i'm headed to vegas for puscifer shows on thursday. won't be back until monday... if i survive.

it looks like aj and robyn will both be coming out to visit in march. i couldn't possibly be more excited about this. robyn will only be here four days, but aj's probably gonna stay a little over a week. should be dope as fuck, seeing as these are two of my oldest, closest friends and these days we have very little time to spend together.

valentine's day is gonna be pretty dope this year. thanks puscifer, and you.

if you haven't noticed i've started using the word "dope" to refer to "cool and/or badass" far far too much. blame aaron. and eminem.

maynard's wine is good.

...i don't know that i have anything else to say. hope you all enjoyed my 'real' update. wish me luck during these confusing, but utterly pleasurable, times.

enjoy yourself, and watch your head.


in pitch dark, i go walking in your landscape
broken branches trip me as i speak..
just cuz you feel it doesn't mean it's there...

there's always a siren singing you to shipwreck
don't reach out
steer away from these rocks, we'd be a walking disaster
don't reach out

just cuz you feel it doesn't mean it's there...
there's someone on your shoulder..

there there...

why so green and lonely?
heaven sent you to me...

we are accidents waiting
waiting to happen

we are accidents waiting to happen...

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tv is always a lie [Feb. 6th, 2009|12:25 pm]
from spin.com:

Jennifer Hudson and Faith Hill didn't act alone. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band also performed to backing tracks during their Super Bowl performance last Sunday, Super Bowl producer and Grammy Awards audio supervisor Hank Neuberger told The Chicago Tribune.

"The Super Bowl performances are all on tape," Neuberger said. "There is no way you can set up a full band in five minutes with microphones, get all the settings right, and expect to get quality sound. The Super Bowl has been doing that for years with virtually all the bands."

According to Neuberger, Springsteen's vocals were the only part of the performance that was not pre-recorded. After all, he is the Boss -- not Ashlee Simpson. (Springsteen's label PR had no comment for SPIN.com by press time.)

"It's not fraudulent, it's the opposite of fraud -- it's not like Milli Vanilli," said Neuberger, referring to the pop/dance duo who won a Grammy 1990 for Best New Artist only to have it withdrawn after it was discovered they didn't sing on their album.

"There were too many variables keeping the instruments in tune while playing outside in cold weather," he continued. "You can't control the environment, so the smart decision is to record the performance and play along with it… It's too big of an event to risk something going wrong. Television and music are not always a happy marriage."

i would so far as to say tv and music are -RARELY- a happy marriage.

see you and radiohead at the grammys on sunday! heh

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random(ish) [Feb. 2nd, 2009|01:33 pm]
i wrote and recorded this song in what was probably 2007. it's pretty straight-forward country sounding, and even has a somewhat 'pop' formulaic vibe to it. i wrote and it recorded it very quickly, in one session, on a whim. i became immediately embarrassed by it, didn't bother really mixing or editing it at all, and i'm not sure anyone's ever heard it. the other day i heard it randomly and tried to figure out why it bothered me. technically i like the song, what it's about, and i think about it every day(the concept, not the song.) so in theory, the song is exactly what my songs should be, and i should like it... i think that's what makes me hate its 'formulaic' vibe. i'm afraid it takes something earnest and makes it cheap. it feels dumbed down.

but what is dumbed down? dumbed down from what? who am i to say? part of the super-intelligent? please. this is a symptom of my exaggerated opinion of myself. i mean hell, the song is basically about doing drugs and neglecting 'responsibilities.' but even still, people can relate to that... it just makes me feel weird. but at the end of the day, i think the song is good on some level, so what's the problem?

at any rate, if i don't get over myself and start letting people hear -everything- i do, regardless of my personal feelings, i need to stop pretending that music will ever be a career again. it's work, it's not supposed to be personal...

that's why art should never be work.

everything that's beautiful dies.

so fuck it.

spending time (download)

hand me that pipe right there, and i will load the bowl
i want you to tell me everything you know
all the things you've learned about, and everywhere you've been
it might look like we ain't doing much, but this is how i'll spend

my time, it's precious, and there ain't no doubt
it's slipping faster away than i care to think about
and i know that you've got so much to do, me too
but i'm gonna sit right here, talking, hopefully with you
yeah i hope you will stay too

well i've never seen a woman look so good as you did on that hill
and if i were a betting man, i'd say i never will
i think i could go anywhere and be content with you
and i can't think of a single thing that i would rather do

with my time, it's precious, and there ain't no doubt
it's slipping faster away than i care to talk about
and i know that you've got so much to do, me too
but i'm gonna sit right here, talking, hopefully with you
yeah i hope you will stay too

did you see that star fall the other night?
do you think what the president said today was right?
do you think that it's ever okay to fight?
have you ever been to austin? i'll go with you if you like..

this time, it's precious, the time i have with you
it's slipping faster away and there's nothing we can do
and i thank you for all the company you've given me
and i hope that you will be happy, satisfied, and free
wherever you will be

it is what it is.
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(no subject) [Jan. 29th, 2009|04:06 pm]
i prayed heaven today would bring its hammer down on me
and pound you out of my head, i can't think with you in it..

i dragged all that i owned down a dirt road to find you
and my shoes, worn out and used, they can't take me much farther..

something always takes the place of missing pieces
you can take and put together
even though you know there's something missing

the sun burned a hole in my roof, i can't seem to fix it
and i hope the rain doesn't come and wash me down the gutter..

something always takes the place of missing pieces
you can take and put together
even though you know there's something missing

she rides in a car like a queen on a card
and the guns of her mind point a line straight at mine
to a heart that is broke, tried to feel but got choked
in the smoke of a desert, a beach with no treasure
a night that's so blue, feel the aching in you
and the background birds take a flight from the earth
a bonfire burns and the night current turns
on a lifeboat floating down a river of sleep

i can't see her hollow eyes
walking along with my boots full of rocks
can't believe these tears are mine
i give 'em to you to keep away in a box

something always takes the place of missing pieces
you can take and put together
even though you know there's something missing

something always missing
always someone missing something...

missing, by beck
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added to my ipod today... [Jan. 29th, 2009|03:51 pm]
some of these are WAY overdue...

Eagles of Death Metal - Peace, Love, Death Metal
Eagles of Death Metal - Death by Sexy
Beck - Guero
Sigur Ros - Agaetis byrjun
Dresden Dolls - Yes, Virginia
Ween - GodWeenSatan: The Oneness
Ween - The Pod
Ween - The Mollusk
Ween - The Friends EP

Eagles of Death Metal are definitely gonna be playing in this apt tonight while i get sloppy drunken.

it's gonna be good.

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and [Jan. 29th, 2009|12:27 pm]
here are my newest lyrics... i have no idea what to call this song.


i went to see my brother, and asked him what he thought was wrong
why i can't seem to focus, or write a decent song
he said i wish i could help you man, but this time you're on your own
i sat there in my brother's chair wishing i still had a home

i always liked the cloudy days, always thought the rain was fun
i like to sleep all day and finally wake to find out the day is done
but sitting here on this hill knowing i'm the only one
i've found that debts and new regrets make you appreciate the sun

i've ruined everything, i've got nothing left to sell
i've got a long confession, but i don't know who to tell
i killed my family, now i'll probably go to hell
but in a lot of ways, i guess you'd say, things are going pretty well

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